On a recent trip to Geneva, I learned that researchers at CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research) have discovered the smallest particle in the universe. The particle’s behavior and characteristics call into question everything we thought was normal about reality. In fact, the new particle, named Trump’s Brain, is now considered totally different from all that we know. When exposed to any element from the periodic table, Trump’s Brain produces an incredibly toxic smell. However, it remains completely tasteless. With one exception, all elements in the presence of Trump’s Brain react in a manner that can only be described as repulsive. This behavior, while not surprising based on the laws of basic decency, are difficult to explain since the Trump’s Brain particle has near-zero energy. Globs of the particles form a fatty substance that do radiate in the 480-510 terahertz range producing an orange glow in the visible spectrum. The one exception mentioned earlier is gold (AG) which, when in proximity to a Trump’s Brain particle, forms into a variety of shapes and exhibits a particularly tacky characteristic. Prior to this discovery, scientists had proposed that the Universe was composed of Matter, Anti-Matter, and Dark Matter. However, after multiple experiments, Trump’s Brain does not conform to the behavior associated with any of these groupings. It only moves into a higher energy state when violating all known laws. When placed in an environment of closed hospitals or hungry children, Trump’s Brain is completely devoid of any pulsating. Hence, scientists have placed Trump’s Brain in a new component of the Universe identified as Doesn’t Matter.
Indeed, scientists have identified a number of particles in a subgroup of Doesn’t Matter which seem to orbit around Trump’s Brain only occasionally falling inward and latching onto a small hole in the backside of Trump’s Brain. For this subgroup, the German term Asymmetrische Korpulse in Slimmy-Substanz emittieren radioaktive Scheiße (AsKissers) has been proposed.
Experiments in 2016-2021 had conjectured that Trump’s Brain existed. However, researchers were so skeptical that any substance could completely lack substance that they considered the entire period as a measurement error. This was particularly true of the experiment on Jan 6, 2021 when Trump’s Brain and the Doesn’t Matter subgroup’s behavior, despite being revolting, was completely ignored by the GOP (GotOurPower) group.
Now, completely immune from any semblance of law, Trump’s Brain is back and everything smells like a big bang!
