“In the workplace women can get away with giving compliments without getting accused of sexual harassment. A female can tell coworker that I like that shade of lipstick on you. A male could not say that to a female coworker in most cases without raising a concern”
So someone posted this comment on X and it’s something I’ve heard a lot of men say, so I wanted to talk about it.
Let’s start by pointing out the obvious, how many men (who are not in the LGBTQIA community) have ever complimented a male coworker on how fabulously their pants fit? Or how beautiful their eyes or hair was? So? How many of you reading this have done so?
How many women here have received compliments at work from male co-workers, in the workplace? Even meetings? About their appearances? Eyes? Smiles? Legs? Hair? Even breasts? Hips? Their walk? Their voice? Their lips?
What about you men, when was the last time your boss told you, you should smile more? That those pants fit you like a glove? Your shirt brings out the color of your eyes? That you had a sexy walk or voice?
You know what men mostly compliment each other on? Getting laid. Job well done. Sports. Promotions. Money. Cars. Not usually their looks or character. What do most men compliment women on? Looking good! That’s basically it.
Women compliment other women all the time on their looks but also on other things. Men usually do not compliment other males on their looks. They reserve those compliments for women, and we don’t take it as a compliment in the workplace, because that is not how you compliment your male co-workers!
Again it is an aspect of culture that’s been ingrained in our subconscious because a man may very well have no interest in the woman whose looks he’s complimenting, but as he would not say the same to a male co-worker, it is also a subconscious clue that he does not view women as worthy of any work related appraisal so falls back on looks.
Men do not whistle at male co-workers, they do not make comments on their appearance, those comments are perceived by women as being inherently sexual because they are, even if you don’t think so. If they were not, you’d make them to male coworkers also and that’s the plain truth.
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Muriel Vieux – November 28th, 2025 – ©All rights reserved
